Straight from the Heart

I felt impressed to share with you a journal entry from a couple of days ago. I feel a little silly, since it’s pretty personal, but please, read the thoughts of my heart.

“It’s no secret that I’m not a morning person. Romania didn’t change that. I find it harder every day to wake up to my alarm. If only in those moments of torture I could remember the joy that I feel here throughout the day. It’s a funny kind of joy. A sad, blistered, rough kind of joy. This is hard work. My body aches and my heart aches. I ache for the sweet spirits of these children, abandoned by those who should have loved them most. And so I am left wondering where this joy comes from, a question that I quickly found the answer to. This joy is love. Love for these children from a Heavenly Father and a Savior, Jesus Christ, who know their every thought, feeling, trial... It is that perfect love that I am striving to achieve here in Romania. And with that love I hope to mend some broken hearts, including my own.”

Now, about my work here. I have been assigned a specific room in the orphanage where I will spend each morning. I am in a room of 6 girls, between the ages of about 8 and 15 months, roughly. They are some of the highest functioning children in the orphanage, which means that the largest concern lies in their severe attachment disorders. What I'm trying to learn right now is the best way to work with these attachment disorders (Essentially tantrums, and lots of them). They're usually fairly easy to soothe, but its knowing when that is appropriate that will be hard. They love to be loved and held, and give the sweetest, most slobbery kisses. I can’t get enough.

My afternoons have been spent at the nearby children’s hospital. We visit each floor, asking the nurses, “Aveți copii fără mama?” (Do you have any children without moms?). It is a scary, sweaty, emotional place to be. And yet, it is my happy place. The place that I feel I can make the most difference, where I forget everything else in the world and focus in on one perfect spirit. Where I, more than anywhere else in the world, understand my Heavenly Father’s love for His children. Without a doubt, there are angels watching over these children. I feel it so strongly in that hospital.

This week I start work in the kindergarten, teaching English. I am so excited to teach again, and am really looking forward to absorbing some of the energy kindergartners have. It’s looking like I could use all the extra energy for this summer that I can get. I have amazing things to look forward to. This summer is a dream. I am in love.

A little exploring is good for the soul.

Classic. McDonalds in Romania.

Enjoying some shaworma (YUM) on the streets of Romania.

First day at the orphanage.

I swear, the 'liftul' is much much smaller than it looks.

Hey look, we {succesfully} made cake!